| g |
[Jan. 26th, 2010|01:31 am] |
|
i dont know what to say, i feel so far apart from you. its strange to be hearing about you from others and having others ask me what i know nothing about. will you ever look for me again? i think im understanding a little bit of your reality. |
|
|
| reflection |
[Jan. 25th, 2010|01:49 pm] |
what does your image in the mirror tell you?
my eyes follow the lines of my brow till the lashes that encircle my eyes, i look into the deep ebony pools and i wonder what my eyes tell others. down my nose as i glaze over my blemishes till i reach the arch in my upper lip. i wonder what people see in me, i wonder what i see in myself. what are your expectations and mine? |
|
|
| lack of love, child. |
[Jan. 21st, 2010|01:34 am] |
empty hearts can be filled, but broken hearts cant be mended and emotional loss is irreplaceable.
healing with time is shit because with time comes loneliness from the loss. it is so very true that loneliness is the greatest poverty. i cant help you now even though i understand because i have a barrier of once experiencing that severe poverty for the most part of my childhood. like you said. you dont remember, i grew up so fast. it wasnt that i grew up fast. i was forced to, and it wasnt that there wasnt anything significant. it was just that you didnt look at me. there was a time i worked for the goal with all my heart, along the way i just gave up because you didnt see. once, i built myself a house of cardboard in the corner of my room and hid in it, hoping to be found. but no. i saw the sky turn dark behind my curtains.
maybe poverty is different for everyone. give and take.
emptiness that shakes my very core. emptiness hits me on occasions like highly viscous lava. and perhaps yours is like sporadic explosions that i have no way to avoid. you drag me from my safetynet, you pry at my feeling of being whole. unfortunately, you hold the last piece to my puzzle, i cant be whole without it. when i see you suffering so. its hard for me to be whole.
how do i help you? i can only ask |
|
|
| self portraits |
[Jan. 16th, 2010|03:34 am] |
i seem to have entered the uncharted territory of zi pai-ing aka taking excessive self portraits which are repetitive in nature with subtle variations regarding shot angle.
it all started because i saw some ____girls doing the claw and fringe faced innocent smile thing. something amusing turned gosh damned addicitive. not saying that i'll become like that, its just that ive been at it for the past 20 mins.
THIS IS BAD
now since i've stopped im gonna stay away from potential triggers HAHA |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
bigbluewig's journal